Celebrity Gossip by Derek Hail

You are probably a pervert

Pornstars are fun because they act like whores and don’t wear alot of clothes.  Then they act all crazy and sexy because they crave the attention.  The best part is that you can always see then doing the nasty whenever you like.  Imagine if you could do that with any woman you meet.  I don’t know how many women I could date if they’ve all had “loads dropped” on them.  Anyway, here’s the skeezers!

BONUS POINTS: If you recognize at least 3 of these women by name, you are a perv.  (I knew 4 of them)

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Jamie Pressly’s body is still smoking

Usually when women have kids, their bodies are ruined.  It’s like taking a few blocks out of a Jenga tower.  Yea, it will stand up, but it will never be the same.  Apparently Jamie Pressly has found the secret that these other hot hollywood moms use because her body still looks smoking.  I don’t know what these rich women are doing but they need to pass the secret down to the rest of us.

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Zachery Ty Bryan got zapped

In a hilarious story we can all relate to, this kid from Home Improvement got tazed.

Zachery Ty Bryan, who played Brad Taylor on “Home Improvement” — is suing Choice Hotels International over an incident back in April 2008. Zach claims he was staying at a hotel in San Diego when he and a few friends went across the street to grab a Gatorade. When he came back just after midnight, Bryan’s lawyer claims the hotel wouldn’t let him upstairs, since the room wasn’t in his name.

Bryan’s lawyer claims Zach tried explaining his wife was in the room, but the hotel refused to call her. He claims an off-duty manager, who was not involved in the initial argument, came out of nowhere and tasered Zach in the neck. Cops came but no charges were filed.

A hotel employee tells us Zach went nuts on the staff, a lot of alcohol was involved, and tasering the dude was the only safe bet.

That could honestly happen to any one of us.  I’ve been wasted coming back to a hotel and security gets all pissed because my hooker gets a bit loud.  She’s a “lady o the night” guys, she doesn’t know any better.  Cut her a break Mr Rent-A-Cop.

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Ashlee Dupree did porn

Dupree was on GGW

It seems Ashlee Dupree has dropped her lawsuit against Girls Gone Wild so her little “wild encounter” will be released after all.

Now that Ashley Dupre has dropped her $10 mil lawsuit against Joe Francis and “Girls Gone Wild,” Joe says he’s got “the green light” to release the skin show Dupre gave him during Spring Break 2003. The porntrepreneur adds that he’s got Dupre in “some very interesting sexual situations.”

This girl has her moments.  Sometimes she looks smoking hot and other times her nose looks like it could be used as a sun dial.  Either way, she’s about as skanky as they get so this tape will probably be entertaining.  I’ll keep you perverts posted.

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The Brunch Quicky

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Afternoon Links and Bruno

  • Mandy Moore is now single - Ninja Dude
  • Nicole Richie gets into a cat fight - Yeeeah
  • Equal Opportunity Breasts - Cityrag
  • A-Rod had the gayest affair ever - ICYDK
  • Anne Hathaway at the Get Smart Premiere - Tunaflix
  • Marisa Miller - BAM! - Popoholic

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Mya hits the beach with her big ass

Mya really hasn’t been relevant for a while.  So of course with all her free time, why not hit the beach in Barbados.  Why is it Barbados the place to be if you’re a singer.  Rihanna, Mariah Carey, Mya, they all go there.  It’s weird because you don’t see Michael Bolton hanging on the beaches of Barbados. I forgot where I was going with this but it probably involved an idiotic joke.  I’ll spare you.

Mya in a bikini 2 Mya in a bikini 3 Mya in a bikini 4

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Natalia Bush is European

One of the best parts about bikini season is the bevy of big breasted bimbos that flock to the beaches to try and get noticed.  They hope this can launch them into an illustrious acting career, but in reality they end up filming a porno in the back of a van.  Since Natalia Bush is from Italy, she has no knowledge of this “van sex”.  Van Sex Ahoy!

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Lauren Conrad is sexy and serious

Lauren Conrad looks great walking out of a club wasted but as usual she’s not smiling.  What does it take for this girl to have a good time?  It always seems like she’s miserable and hates life.  3 out of 4 Doctors say that in order to help a miserable woman feel better, she should have sex with me.  That other doctor is just a dick.  Me and him have issues.

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The Morning Quicky

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