7/8/08

Usually when women have kids, their bodies are ruined. It’s like taking a few blocks out of a Jenga tower. Yea, it will stand up, but it will never be the same. Apparently Jamie Pressly has found the secret that these other hot hollywood moms use because her body still looks smoking. I don’t know what these rich women are doing but they need to pass the secret down to the rest of us.

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7/8/08

In a hilarious story we can all relate to, this kid from Home Improvement got tazed.
Zachery Ty Bryan, who played Brad Taylor on “Home Improvement” — is suing Choice Hotels International over an incident back in April 2008. Zach claims he was staying at a hotel in San Diego when he and a few friends went across the street to grab a Gatorade. When he came back just after midnight, Bryan’s lawyer claims the hotel wouldn’t let him upstairs, since the room wasn’t in his name.
Bryan’s lawyer claims Zach tried explaining his wife was in the room, but the hotel refused to call her. He claims an off-duty manager, who was not involved in the initial argument, came out of nowhere and tasered Zach in the neck. Cops came but no charges were filed.
A hotel employee tells us Zach went nuts on the staff, a lot of alcohol was involved, and tasering the dude was the only safe bet.
That could honestly happen to any one of us. I’ve been wasted coming back to a hotel and security gets all pissed because my hooker gets a bit loud. She’s a “lady o the night” guys, she doesn’t know any better. Cut her a break Mr Rent-A-Cop.
7/8/08

It seems Ashlee Dupree has dropped her lawsuit against Girls Gone Wild so her little “wild encounter” will be released after all.
Now that Ashley Dupre has dropped her $10 mil lawsuit against Joe Francis and “Girls Gone Wild,” Joe says he’s got “the green light” to release the skin show Dupre gave him during Spring Break 2003. The porntrepreneur adds that he’s got Dupre in “some very interesting sexual situations.”
This girl has her moments. Sometimes she looks smoking hot and other times her nose looks like it could be used as a sun dial. Either way, she’s about as skanky as they get so this tape will probably be entertaining. I’ll keep you perverts posted.
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7/7/08

Mya really hasn’t been relevant for a while. So of course with all her free time, why not hit the beach in Barbados. Why is it Barbados the place to be if you’re a singer. Rihanna, Mariah Carey, Mya, they all go there. It’s weird because you don’t see Michael Bolton hanging on the beaches of Barbados. I forgot where I was going with this but it probably involved an idiotic joke. I’ll spare you.

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7/7/08

One of the best parts about bikini season is the bevy of big breasted bimbos that flock to the beaches to try and get noticed. They hope this can launch them into an illustrious acting career, but in reality they end up filming a porno in the back of a van. Since Natalia Bush is from Italy, she has no knowledge of this “van sex”. Van Sex Ahoy!

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7/7/08

Lauren Conrad looks great walking out of a club wasted but as usual she’s not smiling. What does it take for this girl to have a good time? It always seems like she’s miserable and hates life. 3 out of 4 Doctors say that in order to help a miserable woman feel better, she should have sex with me. That other doctor is just a dick. Me and him have issues.
